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April 1, 2007 April 1, 2007

Posted by atlanticleaguenews in Uncategorized.
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Ashmore Announces Departure From AtlanticLeagueBaseball.com: It was a great ride, but it had to come to an end some time.

24-year-old Mike Ashmore, just prior to the start of covering his fifth Atlantic League season, has announced he’ll be leaving AtlanticLeagueBaseball.com for greener pastures.

“I’ve had a great opportunity come up,” Ashmore said. “Once I took a look at this great new sport, and what I’d be getting paid to cover it, there was no way I could pass this up.”

Ashmore will be leaving to cover Calvinball, a new sport that features few rules. In fact, the only permanent rule is that you can’t play Calvinball the same way twice.

“I’m sure that my experience in covering baseball for four seasons will be very beneficial to me in this new endeavor,” Ashmore said.

The stars of the sport are Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin is a mischievous six-year-old boy, while Hobbes is a tiger who only comes to life when only Calvin is around.

“I’m told that as long as Rosalyn, Calvin’s babysitter, forgives him for an unfortunate incident involving a water balloon, the season should start on time,” Ashmore said.

Ducks Only To Sign Minor Leaguers: In a stunning development, Long Island Ducks owner Frank Boulton has announced that he’s released all of his Major League players, and will only sign minor leaguers from now on.

“I’m sick of all this publicity,” Boulton said. “For years now, we’ve had 14, 15, 16 big league guys on our team at the same time. I know our fans like the big name players — in fact, John Rocker was one of the most popular Ducks we’ve ever had. But I’m going to try to save our media relations department some work, and maybe save a few trees instead of sending out all these press releases.”

Road Warriors Get A Home: Atlantic League Executive Director Joe Klein told AtlanticLeagueBaseball.com yesterday that the Road Warriors will play all 126 games in a bus this season in conjunction with a new sponsorship agreement with Greyhound.

“I know the playing field might be a little smaller,” Klein admitted, noting that there might not be room for all four bases, and that things like a pitching mound, fans, players and dugouts may have to be omitted from the final plan.

“We’re still working out all the kinks,” Klein said.

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Comments»

1. Chuckerd58 - April 1, 2007

I wonder when we will start up the 2007 A.L. fantasy league?

2. qwackedup - April 1, 2007

that would be a cool thing to do. especially since players come and go. get one going

3. Sharks52 - April 1, 2007

The Atlantic League announced today that all teams would be keeping their rosters, signings, player news and status up to date on their websites during the 2007 season. Complete information on each team and player will be available at the click of the mouse as soon as it occurs.

4. prissyblonde - April 1, 2007

this is a bad april fools joke.. you should try something more believable next time….

5. fishyfan - April 2, 2007

I loved your April Fools column and enjoyed seeing Calvin and Hobbes again.. wish they would re-run them in the papers..

glad you aren’t really leaving.. we count on you..

there were 76 guys today for the open tryouts at the Bluefish.. ages 18 – 48 from what I could see.. interesting process..

6. AtlanticLeagueBaseball.com - April 2, 2007

The reason I can’t make it more believable is because people would believe it…

Although I guarantee Calvinball would pay more than what I make now, I’ll be sticking around…

-M-

7. SharkGirl - April 2, 2007

lmao..thanks Mike! Due to recent events in my life, I really needed that laugh! Happy Apr. 1st.! (qwackedup-I hope you were kidding about Mike looking like a fool! We all know Frank would NEVER do that…lol!)
P.S.-Happy Birthday, Brad! …from your biggest “little SharkGirl” fan!

8. Fausto Gabon - April 2, 2007

Which league will you cover, the CBA or World Team Calvinball? I for one like the designated narfblatt rule, but can see the CBA point about it dumbing down the strategy. Is there merchandising? A salary cap? Free juice boxes and graham crackers? If one of your top players is a big fuzzy guy, are mascots redundant?

9. Brad Strauss - April 2, 2007

Thank you for the birtday wishes to my biggest fan with the fewest words! 7 Years and no words. Just the bruises on your side to let me know she’s my biggest fan. I will miss my balloons they usually get me through until spring training. See you all soon.


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